Halloween: Best Buffalo Costumes Ever

We have ideas about some Halloween costumes that would be Buffalo-centric and too much fun.  Though we’re not sure anyone on a regional or national level would “get” the identity of the people or things we’re dressed as, we think Buffalo Rising readers would recognize the character.

One of our all time favorite costumes involved a person, their face sticking out of a giant sheet of cardboard.  On the cardboard, there was a lot of graffiti, and a roll of toilet paper hung nicely from the middle.  Yes, they were a bathroom wall, no explanation needed. 
We have some ideas too, and we’d like your input since we think there’s nothing sadder than being asked, “What are you supposed to be?”  With that thought in mind, we’ll describe some costumes and look to you, our readers, to tell us what they are.
1.  Cut a cardboard box to look like a podium.  Put the seal of the city on it and strap it around your neck?  Who are you?
2.  Doff sunglasses (so as to avoid having anyone see the fear in your eyes) and a headset.  Walk around the edges of the party with your jaw clenched.  Who are you?
3.  Part your hair neatly on the side in a business-like way.  Adopt an air of arrogance and accuse an assemblyman of being Hitler-like.  Later apologize (like it matters).  Here’s a hint.  Who are you?
4.  Drape yourself in $1.3 million dollars of lights and try not to look confused about the glitz even though you’re constantly told you’re obsolete.  What are you?
5. Drape a broken window around your neck and fill your pockets with syringes and crack vials.  Write “No Copper!” on your forehead.  What are you?
6.  Put diamond earrings the size of Rotary Rink in your ears.  Have a partner throw a ball to you that is consistently too long or too short. Try to keep smiling. Who are you?
7.  Dress nicely, but put on shoes that are covered in concrete.  Tuck big trucks under each arm and an inhaler in your breast pocket.  Who/what are you?
8. Dress up as a huge phallus.  Put on an art deco necktie.  What are you?
9. Dress in green.  Carry a big bowl of water and allow people to throw their garbage in it all night.  Have a friend with you, who has “Riverkeeper” embroidered on their shirt, and who keeps removing the garbage.  What are you?
10.  Dress in a black sheet to disguise your identity.  Roam around the party, interrupting conversations to pontificate about how much you hate Jews, women and specifically, Muriel Howard.  Who are you?
If you have any other suggestions for people to guess at, we’d love to hear them.  If you have good guesses, comment below.  Who knows, we may even do a drawing for a T-shirt that will make people say, “Let me guess…you’re a Buffalo Rising reader.”
Image from www.dorks.com.

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